Are you feeling overwhelmed with pressure to help your parents with their healthcare but not sure where to start? I can certainly related. My mother has lived in the US for over 30 years but, she speaks minimal English. As soon as I was old enough, I took on an active role in navigating her health and selecting healthcare providers for her. This was unfortunately after I saw how the system failed her in many ways.

Allow me to help you avoid the mistakes I made after getting involved in my parents’ healthcare.

Here are my best tips for you

1. Consent is key for ensuring a smooth process when trying to help your parents. In the US, healthcare information is kept private. This is always the case unless the patient gives their providers consent to share. If you decide to take a more active role, their healthcare providers will make sure you have consent to help. Talk to your parents and let them know what your intentions are. If they are in agreement, have them communicate that with their healthcare providers and insurance companies and fill out the necessary paperwork.
2. If possible, try to find a local doctor who speaks the same language as your parents. If one is unavailable, find a doctor who uses a translation service in their practice. You can also look for a doctor who at least has office staff who can speak your parents’ native language.
3. If your parents do not speak English, try to accompany them to their doctor’s appointments especially if there’s no translation service available. You can do this until you get to know the office staff and the doctor, and until you are comfortable with how they manage.
4. Encourage your parents to be honest with their doctors about their health concerns. This is especially important if they are experiencing new symptoms from their medical conditions or if they have recently discontinued a medication without yet notifying their doctor. This can help minimize the progression of chronic disease.
5. Request a printout of labs even if you are told that the labs are “normal.” My mother had the unfortunate experience of regularly being told that her labs were “normal” even when they were not. She had already met official criteria for diabetes and early kidney disease. Of course, one bad doctor doesn’t mean they are all the same. The medical field is filled with wonderful doctors. That was just one bad experience among multiple good experiences with other doctors. I also don’t want you to feel like every lab that flags is a concern. Not all labs will be absolutely perfect. Always clarify with the doctor.
6. Encourage safe movement whether leisure walking or joyful dancing. Just 10 minutes can make a huge difference. It’s even better if you can join them because this allows you to also get your exercise in while you continue strengthening your bond with them. You can also keep them busy with reasonable tasks that you can do yourself that allows them to get mental stimulation and feel a sense of accomplishment.
7. Research your parents’ health insurance company to understand the full scope of benefits that are available (some benefits may help you ease your burden as a caregiver). I discovered benefits on my mother’s health insurance that made it so much easier to care for her like a meal delivery service for when she came out of the hospital. Some insurances also provide funding for safety items like grab bars for the shower.
8. If your parents live alone, regularly inspect the safety of the home and items in the home. As they age, they might find certain things acceptable that you wouldn’t find acceptable. For example, my mom likes to keep plastic tupperware but she struggles with washing them correctly. After inspecting her dishes, I had to discard quite a few pieces as they were growing mold/mildew. There were also some dishes that she just wasn’t able to wash well.
9. Encourage your parents to eat variety in their cultural foods, especially fruits and vegetables appropriate for their medical conditions. This can ensure that they are easily getting much needed vitamins and minerals as well as fiber in their diet. Check out my blog post on Haitian food in the renal diet.
10. Know your limits with how much you can help navigate your parents’ healthcare without causing harm to yourself. If you feel like you need help, get someone to help you. You can’t do every single thing by yourself. If you are not taking care of yourself adequately, how can you take care of other people?